Practicing good life

I would like to be happier. My source of unhappiness is almost always myself. I seem to be profoundly, unalterably dissatisfied with myself. I often ruminate over my faults and consider my good qualities ephemeral exceptions to the rule of my nature.

And yet I do not feel like a sinner to be forgiven. I do not identify with that language at all. It’s not forgiveness that I need. Forgiveness implies staying the same, accepting one’s faults and missteps. It’s strength and persistence and discipline–all those qualities in which I feel deficient and yet which I possess in certain measure–that are called for. I just want to be better, to do better. That, however, is a source of constant dissatisfaction, i.e. unhappiness.

Obviously, if I am to be happier I need a different story. Not self-improvement. Not forgiveness. Not even self-acceptance.  What? Continue reading

This Five needs you

Enneagram_SymbolIt’s the New Year. I’ve had another bout of self-dissatisfaction and thus have been making another try at self-improvement. This time the tool that came to mind was the Enneagram, the analysis of nine personality patterns we humans take on in the earliest stages of our lives.

What I like about the Enneagram is that it not only gives you insight into human differences and makes you more accepting of them; it also indicates paths for breaking out of the limited responses we learn when we are young. Self-understanding and self-improvement. Continue reading