Sun is shining but it’s 39 degrees. I have to get out today nevertheless.

The only thing that really cheers me up is getting out and weeding around all the new plants and shrubs in my backyard which, in turn, cheers a bleak street landscape.

Sometimes cooking helps, though I am getting tired of that. Tomorrow we will bake muffins for a change from bread. It is nice to have someone around who wants to bake and can eat things like bread and muffins.

At noon we will be on a Zoom prayer vigil for the incarcerated and detained. I am grateful Ben is out of detention, holed up with us.

I just learned that the leggings that came the other day are navy. They are so dark they look black. But I just got a notice that the black ones I ordered at the same time are on their way. I might have sent these back if I had known they were supposed to be navy because they are not the navy I counted on. Oh well. I am wearing them today. I need to wear something new.

My hair, which grew briefly into a shaggy-cute stage, has grown into another awkward stage. The cute lasted for the four days between washings.

I started my friend’s new novel but couldn’t concentrate enough to get into it. I switched to a thriller. Glad I’ve been accustomed to e-reading for years.

We watched something good on Netflix last night and I have already forgotten what it was. Let me think. Oh yes. A Japanese thing called 37 Seconds. Other than some raunchy, failed sex it was quite entertaining and human. About a young woman with cerebral palsy.

We binge-watched the four episodes of Unorthodox one afternoon and evening. We managed to spread The English Game over several evenings.

Books and movies and crossword puzzles and meals and Happy Color pictures pass through me unremembered, like dreams. I haven’t remembered dreams for a long time, either.

I am adrift. At sea. I am riding out what is a tsunami for some, shipwreck for some. It may be happening around me but I can’t see it, though I read plenty about it. Too much. I am not much affected.

At some point I will have to decide whether to risk another trip to the grocery store because delivery is totally booked. We are almost out of milk and eggs. We are out of apples. We have enough meat and veggies to sustain us for quite a while. We have three large baking potatoes and two sweet potatoes and a fair amount of rice but because of Ben we are going through starches at lightning speed compared to before. But I will try to manage as long as possible on what we have.

I will try to manage life with no thrills and just a few frills.

We can do this. Cheers!